I am so tired of seeing these waif skinny women in bikinis walking around my club pool.  I spent a lot of time finding the perfect suit to show off my “Ass”ets and now I have to contend with them!! I just wish some fat bitches would show up in a thong and make me look like the only piece of meat on a veggie buffet. 

Adios-

Lola

Last night I was out being my naughty little self, when I spot the hottest man I have seen in a long time.  I did the across the room looks, the laugh and hair flip, and even had the waitress deliver a drink to him.  I was pulling out all the stops because I knew tonight he would be mine! After he received the drink he came over to me, my heart was pounding and I know I was smiling ear to ear.  He was 6 foot 2, black hair, olive skin, green eyes and a smile that killed.  He came right up to me and said “Girl that was so sweet of you, by the way I can’t believe you got the new prada bag” OMG I could have died.  Wow my radar was off.  So the man I thought would be my new latin lover became my new best drinking friend and we spent the rest of the night hitting on the gays. 

Adios-

Lola

The fourth of July is always a great holiday in the US.  Parties, sun and fun, fireworks.  I was for sure there would be fireworks in my bed that night but instead me and Mr. Grumpy got in a big damn fight and my entire night was ruined.  How was I to know that a thong bikini wasn’t appropriate at his parents BBQ and that his grandma didn’t know how to do tequila shots?  He so overreacted, that Bastard!! I still had a great night, don’t remember the last part of it, but granny and I finished a fifth on our own. 

Adios-

Lola

This guy I have been “stalking” at work for awhile now finally ask me out.  We went out over the weekend and had a just okay time. Not as good as I imagined it would be.  First of all he called me to come down when he arrived rather than coming up to my door.  We went for dinner and I am not a “I’ll just have a salad” girl, so I ordered the most amazing dish that included steak and lobster.  I think he was surprised.  Not sure by the fact I didn’t just starve myself with a dinner salad or that I ordered the $70 meal.  I am fit and fabulous, If I want a steak I can handle it.  Then we went out for drinks afterwards.  He got a “foo-foo” drink. This concerns me.   I am putting the pieces together and wondering if secretly he is the “I’ll just have a salad” guy.  He kissed me on the cheek in the car and I got out and went up to my place.  Between the reaction at dinner, the foo-foo drink and peck on the cheek- I am thinking either it wasn’t vibing for him either or he realized he would rather be out with a Larry than a Lola.  Thoughts? Do you think the Steak instead of a salad did it?  Oh well, when I am hungry I will eat- a real man will be able to handle that!

Adios-

Lola

So I want to kill people this week. So I cry at everything and have added 5 pounds of chocolate to my ass. So what! I have the right to be pissed! I feel like I just get done feeling like a total out of control Bitch and then boom here it is again!  I don’t feel to bad because the othe divas in my world act just the same way. Bitches! Thank God I found the e-card, The 5 Days of PMS to explain to my man what I am feeling, and then I can send, Sorry I was a Bitch, card next week to all my friends I have pissed off.  Thank God, www.VivaVogue.com, has the ecards I need to send out!  I just don’t find Sorry I was a Bitch cards at the local card shop.  Lord knows I will be using that one more than just once a month.  Oh Shut Up, Bitches!!

Cranky Lola

Men or Shoes? Which do we love more?  I guess it depends on the day, minute, moment. When I am getting lavished with jewelry and expensive goodies I love men.    When I look hot in my new Dolce dress with beautiful Jimmy Choo’s, I love shoes.  I know men love my shoes, especially in bed.  I have to say I really only wear them to bed for my satisfaction.  No matter how good or bad a lover a man is, the shoes will always turn you on.  There you have it- Shoes. The shoes win!!

Adios-

Lola

Psst- If you want to send a fabulous E-Card talking about the same thing to your chicas, go to www.VivaVogue.com and send the Card, Men or Shoes. You’ll love it!!

Finally someone on TV that tells the truth about all the riduculous things going on in Hollywood.   I think in my past life Chelsea and I were sisters.  Keep telling the truth girl! You look fabulous and love the laughs!

Adios-

Lola

I am really looking forward to seeing our fashion forward, gabby, sexually aggressive girls of NYC.  The previews look good. I don’t think there is going to be as much sex and more feelings, but that will work too.  I can’t wait to see the fashions!! I really love most of the clothes.  Of Course, 2 hours with Mr Big is always time well spent.  He could be Mr little and I’d still want to smooch him all over- :).  Make plans now for Friday, and don’t plan on hearing from me. I am sure I will see it at least 3 times that day!

Ciao

Lola

So have you ever used these resistence bands when you exercise?  I have to tell you they’re the best.  It’s like lifting free weights but without all the bulky weight.  And you can throw them in your suitcase if you’re traveling.  These rubber bands stretch and allow you to work various muscle groups in your arms, legs, back and wherever (there is some creativity involved for the whatever).  I love them and use them all the time.  The trick for maximum benefit is to go slow and resist the urge for herky jerky movements - if only men followed the same principles….  Anyway, I digress…  You’ll definitely be surprised at how fatigued your muscles will feel after just a few reps.  There are many different brands, so pick which ever one fits your budget and get stretching. 

Gabby Out.

So I went to the gym yesterday and my trainer put me through one of the most intense work-outs EVER.  I was running around, bouncing up and down, stretching, lunging and contorting my body in a way it hadn’t been since my night with Raul -they don’t call him the Mexican Jumping Bean for nothing -.  I felt great after all that exercise…for the most part anyway

Note to self:  Need a new bra.

Gabby Out