Female Friendships - What Makes Female Friendships Work?

Most women genuinely want to develop the kind of female friendships that make Hollywood moguls go gaga with ideas for a "Steel Magnolias" remake, but the reality is those types of bonds are few and far between. The demands of life - intimate partner relationships, children, careers - all compound to make the lasting circle of friends that appeared on the big screen a fictional figment in the lives of many women today.

Still, despite the odds, some women do manage to form the kind of female relationships that withstand the test of time. These women bond together and can hold each other up in good times and bad. They can let their hair down together - laughing, crying and even cursing the powers of the universe for the infinite injustices in the world.

But, how do they pull this off?

The reality is female friendships take effort to transform from passing acquaintances into something much deeper. Building what M'Lynn, Truvy, Ouiser and Clairee formed among the Louisiana magnolia trees requires honest to goodness work and a real sense of commitment. In order to reap the life-altering impacts that real friendship can provide, women have to cultivate ties just like they do in any other relationship.

Therein lies the problem.

It is very difficult to carve out the necessary time to dedicate to the nurturing of a real friendship. Even when good starts take place, nurturing friendship over time often seems impossible, and many women just allow bonds to dissipate.

Considering the benefits of having true friends and confidants, finding creative ways to stay in touch and continue nurturing friendships, even in the face of adversity, is something many women would like to do. There are ways to make this happen, provided both parties are willing to put in a bit of elbow grease.

Whether the distance in a relationship comes from actual miles apart or simply a lack of time, the stress relieving, self-esteem boosting benefits of real friendship can be nurtured for a while by using fairly simple, fun tactics to keep the lines of communication open. Some of the best ideas include:

• Monthly or even yearly gatherings. If time or distance does not permit weekly Girls Nights Out, consider making a monthly event or an annual one. The annual tradition of getting together has worked wonders for women spread apart by hundreds of miles and gives them something very strong and positive to look forward to.
• Phone calls. There is no replacing the phone when it comes to building friendships and keeping them strong. If work and family obligations restrict "being there" when it's time for congratulations or crisis management, calling is one of the next best things.
• Online eCards. These electronic wonders provide a more personalized way to send greetings across an office or even a country than a regular e-mail. Plus, they offer a more instant line of contact than regular mail correspondence. eCards are fun to receive, a joy to pick out and they offer the perfect way to let a friend know she's on your mind and in your heart.

While it is simply impossible to always be there for friends in the flesh, there are other ways to keep the ties strong by letting them know you're always present in spirit. From tradition building to simple greetings, keeping the lines of communication open can help any woman experience her own "Steel Magnolias" moments. Very real, very lasting female relationships are possible for those who work at them.